WHAT IT TAKES TO FORM A *NEW* HABIT

Yes, you've seen all those clickbait headlines and Pinterest ads that state: "It takes 21 days to form a habit." "How to quit _____ in 5 days." "How to trick your brain into craving ____."

Thanks to the convergence of media (social and otherwise) and the ever-continuous rise of the self-help industry, it would appear as though our collective thinking around habit formation has gone the way of the New Year's resolution---too aspirational for its own good. (Note: about 80% of resolutions fail within the first 30 days)

So let's be candid here. As attractive as life-hacking your way to better habits sounds, in reality, we need to understand that there's not exactly a fast-track solution, nor a catchall formula. Simply because habit formation is, by nature, a very personal thing. While there's a general framework for how it all happens in the brain, we're left to fill in the blanks with our own experience and knowledge of what makes us tick. And more often than not, that takes a little trial and error to figure out...which is why the very idea that "it takes 21 days to form a new habit" can be misleading because on average, it takes roughly 66 days and can range individually between 18 and 254 depending on the type and scope of the habit. (Note: same goes for altering a bad habit)

Sure, this may seem a bit daunting and disheartening, but hear me out: If you think about it, understanding the realities of habit formation is actually powerful. It relieves the unnecessary pressure to stick to a certain timeline, as well as the frustration o being unable to meet it. It's a reminder that what works for one person might not work for another. And chief among the rest, it's an invitation to start slow and small, because that's more likely to set us up for success in the long run.

But in order to know what it actually takes to form a new habit, first we need to dive into exactly what happens in the brain during that process.

Introducing the Habit Loop

A three-part cycle that indicates with enough time and repetition, your brain puts a certain behavior on autopilot--fundamentally turning it into a habit. Facts such as behavioral triggers and positive reinforcement help drive habit formation in the brain.

To get more specific (and somewhat scientific) about it, a new or unpracticed behavior starts off in the prefrontal cortex, which is the decision-making part of our brain. Which explains why kicking off a new habit can feel laborious because we're directly engaging that very active part of our mind. But with enough completions of the habit loop, much of the brain function behind that behavior moves to the basal ganglia, which is responsible for our instinctual behavior (i.e. eating, sex and general survival). These are the behaviors we generally don't have to think about because they're second nature. A habit is formed when the new behavior in question falls under that category--and that's when it'll probably start feeling a lot easier.

Of course, every one acknowledges that consistency is a main trigger in engaging (and keeping) a habit. What that looks like is entirely up to you...think: the time of day or perhaps a digital reminder or post-it notes! that will serve to 'cue' you. Pro tip: It's easier to kick off a habit when you connect it to another, well-established habit or routine, known as "habit stacking".

Next up is routine. The goal here is that with enough repetition, the habit should start to become an automatic reaction.

Lastly, reward. Positive reinforcement is crucial to learning new habits, as it helps drive the changes in the basal ganglia that help facilitate habit formation. In other words, your brain needs a goood reason to return to that behavior because willpower only gets us so far before it becomes exhausting. But it's imperative to keep in mind that not every one will respond the same to positive reinforcement. For some, it works like a charm. Other, simple use of willpower is all it takes.

For more abstract commitments (i.e. working out) sometimes it helps to create an emotional tie which may require reflection and patience. Maybe you've come to realize that by going to that yogilates class, your stress and overthinking has simply melted away. That in itself is a pretty compelling habit loop right there. Your manic, meeting-packed day is your cue, attending yogilates is your routine and feeling more grounded is your reward. For commitments that are more low-effort (i.e. taking your vitamins or drinking more water throughout the day), the satisfaction of doing something good for you and your body is enough of a reward. Or, maybe because it's easy. The more convenient, the better and immediate the habit becomes formed.

And with that, the loop closes itself after the brain banks that reward for your behavior...it feels compelled to return to it upon experiencing your cue (whatever that may be). And with time and repetition, a habit is born.

Start Small

The aforementioned clickbait headlines and Pinterest ads that state rigid timelines are a disservice to authentic habit-building because they don't leave room for a margin of error, aka life. Many of us don't have the time or bandwidth to devote ourselves to establishing a spectacular new habit in a matter of days. We get busy, we miss a day or two (or five) and we slip up. But by freeing ourselves from a time constraint, it's much simpler to see the "two steps forward, one step back" approach as a positive thing. Trial and error allows us to problem-solve as we go and ultimately land on a strategy that will actually work for the long haul.

In turn, starting small (i.e. drinking 8-9 cups of water a day, going on a 20-minute morning walk, taking your vitamins) are low-effort behaviors that still amount to making you feel pretty great about yourself. And most importantly, small commitments ultimately ladder up to something much, much bigger in the future.

#healthyliving #selfcare